At a Lost for Words

That's a first huh? Too bad I wasn't talking about my blog. Here's what I don't understand...why is it so hard to explain my thought processes to people? So many times each day I have to tell myself that the only one who completely understands my struggle is God. No one else gets it nor should I expect them too. Most days I am OK with that yet I still wonder what it would be like if someone did completely understand. I don't really want them to, as I have said before. So, I'm quite twisted in my thinking. I think in some ways, over the last three weeks, I have become more guarded and quite about my struggle and my relationship with God. If people aren't going to understand, then what's the point in talking to them about it? Yet maybe the goal isn't to get people to understand. Maybe the goal is to have someone to walk with me on the journey. God walks with me every step of the way, even when I don't want Him to. I really am trying to let that be enough. God understands and that's what I have to go on each and every day. One day I will get to a place where I am cool with that and I won't expect anyone to understand...it's just a slow process.

Every day it takes work...but I'm not going to give up. I just need to find the balance between sharing my faith journey with others realizing that they won't completely understand and relying on God to walk me through.