Things are about to get interesting

When people tell you about their blog are you responsible to tell them about yours? I have two people, one who knows me well and the other whom I am beginning to get know, who have told me about their blogs. I have read them and wonder if I should tell them about mine? If I do, that opens up a whole world of things. I would have to explain more and they would have access to other people's blogs. I'm just not so sure about that. So, I'm following one of those blogs anonymously. We shall see how that all plays out.

I have started reading another book: Believing God by Beth Moore. I have done this Bible study twice but I have never read the book. Today I got to the part where she asked us to make a commitment to stick with this redefining my "believing God" way of living for 9 weeks. A part of this is doing something that alters the way I do things everyday...becoming more focused on who God is and what He is doing in my life. So, I've decided that for nine weeks, I am going to write in my journal (not my blog) one honest prayer to God everyday. I shall see how that goes. She also uses verses in Scripture, Numbers 15:37-41 which refers to wearing a blue cord to remember all that God has done for me and to remind me of this commitment I have made. So today, I bought some ribbon and a friend of mine put it on for me, so here I go.

Yesterday I talked with my counselor some more about this whole "all or nothing" mentality that I can't seem to shake. He reminded me to look for little ways that God is working even when I get frustrated with situations where I immediately question Him. He seems to think that will help me not getting so frustrated at God and remind me that God is still God and still loving even if the situation doesn't give evidence to that. It also goes with that whole being thankful thing. The list is over, but I learned some things about God through the exercise. He also has read half of The Shack and he really likes it. He said that he understands why I identify so much with that book and why reading it and hearing the author was so impactful for me. I still can't get that book out of my head.

About three days ago I found a good friend of mine on Facebook. This is a friend who was a mentor to me during college and...thanks to Facebook chat...was able to talk to her about some of what's going on in my life. She lives in Georgia and it was nice to talk to someone who has no ties to Texas. She wants me to email her sometime this week and continue the conversation with her. I think I will do that.

I still seem to have a chip on my shoulder that I can't quite shake. I still am a little jaded when people talk about God in..what seems to me to be flippant. However, that's where they are in their faith. I'm not there and I need to be OK with where they are at. I'll get there...it's just slow. I think some of "the chip" is directed at God. I'm not sure why, but things still aren't great. They are still unsettled in that regards. Maybe I'll have some clarity in these next 9 weeks.

So, I feel like my life is about to get interesting with all that is going on. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be interesting to see what's in store.