Chapter 3: My World Changed Forever

Once I figured out that God was wanting me to stay in Burleson, I accepted the position of Minister to Children on June 1, 2005. I was so excited about my position and the relationships that I was going to get to make with the children and their families. On June 16th, 2005 a friend of mine's husband was killed in a tragic car accident. This friend was the same one whom was my previous boss when I was an intern at Burleson. Needless to say, it was a life-changing event for me. You may ask why? Was I that close to the family at the time of the accident? No, not really. So why did it affect me so much? I think it was a combination of someone whom I cared about hurting and wondering what God was up to in all of this. I also completely immersed myself into my friend and her kids because I wanted to. That was how I could minister to them.

This event catapulted me into a four year journey of figuring out who God is, my relationship with Him, and how I relate to other people. Those four years included 2 and 1/2 years of counseling and many many hours of talking to people trying to figure out what was going on. There were some low, low times, and there were also some big "Ah Ha" moments. It was by far the hardest journey I have been on in my life. No one else really understands that journey and I'm OK with that. As I have used this blog to chronicle my journey, I have said many times that this "crisis of faith" would have occurred anyway, without the tragic event of my friend's husband passing.

As my many blog entries have followed my journey, I am now at a much healthier place then I was even 6 months ago. God has been with me every step of the way and even though I have tried the best I could to run away, He never left. The coolest thing is that He loves me just as much today as He did four years ago. My relationship with Him looks very different today, it's more realistic and personal. I still don't have the answers I would like nor do I understand everything that I would like to, but I know that God is still God and I most definitely am NOT.

So what does chapter 4 look like? Only God knows. We shall see.