The Things I've Learned

The last couple of weeks have been very challenging to me both personally and professionally. Last week things at work were horrible. I don't ever want to have another week like that again. I felt like I was on a rollercoaster of ups and downs, mostly downs. Is the situation fixed? No. But it is in the process of being worked out. It's rather awkward right now and there are still days I don't want to go to work, but this week those days haven't happened yet. So, it's been a good week.

There was an experience lsat weekend that challenged me both as a minister as a person. We had our Family Worship time and right before it was to happen there was a big blow-up between two of my volunteers. Everything is worked out right now, but I'm questioning if it's time for our Family Worship to take a break. It doesn't seem to be accomplishing the goal that it set out to, which is to bring families together to worship God and have some time for each other. Needless to say, the last two weeks felt like I couldn't catch a break...it was one thing after another. I ended the weekend feeling pretty disappointed and discouraged.

Now, it's Wednesday night and I have had time to evaluate things and learn more about myself from them. Here's what I've figured out. I need to be more assertive. My nature is not to be assertive for fear of creating conflict or confrontation. Yet there has been so many times over the last few weeks that I should have spoken up more for myself. I think if I would have done that from the beginning of a lot of the drama could have been avoided. God is teaching me to forgive again. I listened to a sermon last weekend about the woman caught in adultery and how the men that were going to stone the lady were challenged by Jesus to put down their stones. They did so and walked away, never having thrown a stone. That's my goal at work. To put down my stones and forgive. That's all in God's hands after that. He is the only one who can bring about healing and restoration.

Today I received a book in the mail, Your Perfect Right. It's suppose to help me be more assertive. So I'm honestly going to work on it and make some changes to my life to stand up for myself, make decisions, and stick by them. I also have begun reading a book on Job by Chuck Swindol. It's an awesome book and I am learning so much about Job..his life and all the trials that he experienced. I think maybe, I'm beginning to wrap my mind around the verse "the Lord gives and takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." God gives us all that we have and in His sovereignty can take it all away. Everything that we have is on loan from God. Because of that He can take it away. We don't understand it , but we can rest in knowing the certainty of God's presence and His love.